Sniffle Cough Repeat

Yes, I promised a prolific post, weaving through questions posed in today's society and arriving at a logical answer. 

And I will, just as soon as hubby, the girls, and myself all recover from this hellacious head cold that has etched itself into our home.

Keep the faith, I will return.

8 Bits of Entertainment

Ok, this is just too exciting.  

nintendo8.com 

This has to be the largest online selection of original Nintendo 8 bit games ever!  They are all free and flash.  So yes, I had to post this for my fellow 8 bitters.  It's cold and rainy outside, so stay inside and play Nintendo games from the 80s, doesn't that sounds quintessential?

(I promise something intelligent, poignant, and relevant today)

Alton Brown's Turkey Tactics

*sigh* Oh how I love Alton Brown.  If you haven't watched his ultra awesome show Good Eats, go now, I'll wait.

That being said, last night Food Network re-aired for the billionth time "Romancing the Bird," Alton's Thanksgiving episode.  I now present to you Alton's turkey advice, and T-Day Turkey Tactics.  Now, there are two videos from this episode available on foodtv.com.  I could make you go search for those videos, but that wouldn't be very blog-neighborly of me now would it.  Check 'em out.)

Let us continue.

Word to the wise and wisdom seekers, you're going to want to start this either Thanksgiving eve or early Thanksgiving morning.  The choice is yours (isn't that nice?)

Let's make a brine!

In a stock pot combine the following.

• 1 gallon vegetable stock
• 1 cup kosher salt
• 1/2 cup light brown sugar
• 1 tbsp black peppercorns
• 1/2 tbsp allspice berries
• 1/2 tbsp candied ginger

If you have trouble finding, or object to the cost of the allspice berries or the candied ginger, leave them out, the brine is excellent with or without them.

Boil this beautiful brine.  Stir to dissolve everything and remove from heat.  Let it cool to room temperature and then throw it into the fridge until thoroughly chilled.  

Remove your turkey from it's packaging, and get the guts and glory out of the cavity.  Rinse your bird inside and out.  

At this point I should note that most turkeys come with some sort of doohickey to hold the legs together.  Whatever it is made of, leave it on there, yes even plastic as the companies that sell turkeys are smart enough to make sure that the plastic is oven safe.

Once that's done, pour the brine and 1 gallon of heavily iced water into a clean (CLEAN!) 5 gallon bucket.  Lower your turkey, breast down into the brine.  Cover and set in a cool area, either your basement, garage, patio, whatever, for 6 hours.  Halfway through brining, turn the turkey over.  After the six hours are up, remove the turkey, dump the brine, rinse the turkey and pat it dry.

Turkey quiz time!  At what temperature is dark meat considered cooked?  Answer . . . 180° F.  And at what temperature is white meat considered cooked?  Answer . . . 161° F.  For those of you that are stumped at how to roast a turkey to two different temperatures, fear not and read on.

Use a large piece of tinfoil and fold it into a triangle.  Rub it with canola (or any other neutral) oil and form it to the turkey breast.  Remove it and set it aside, keeping the shape.  Now, rub your turkey thoroughly with canola oil (promotes browning).  Leave in your turkey timer if there is one, it's useless, but if you remove it, juices will drain out of the hole leaving your turkey dry.  Also, tuck the wings under the turkey, if you don't, they'll flap around and burn, and that won't impress your mother-in-law.

Ok, we're almost done!  Let's fill the cavity with...I'm sorry, what?  Stuffing?  No, no no.  You don't stuff a turkey, or any bird for that matter.  *sigh*  Ok, fine I'll explain it.

Stuffing adds mass to your turkey which increases the cooking time.  It is a breeding ground for bacteria like salmonella and it dries out your meat. So don't stuff your bird!  If you want to make stuffing, that's fine, but it is a side dish, not an inside dish.

Let's continue.  Take a chunk (or two) of rosemary, and a stalk of sage and stuff them in the turkey cavity.  Cut an onion in half, and slice and apple, put them in a microwave safe dish and add a little bit of water.  Microwave for 5 minutes.  Toss a whole cinnamon stick and let it steep for about 8 minutes.  Using a set of tongs, place the onion and the apple slices inside your turkey's cavity.  There.  Don't worry about your meat tasting too sweet, it won't happen, just trust me.  Now, take a probe thermometer and insert it into the thickest part of the white meat, avoiding the keel and rib bones.  

Preheat your oven to 500°.  Get your turkey on a wire rack and into a roasting pan.  When your oven is ready, toss your turkey in, legs first, and set the timer for 30 minutes.  Once that 30 minutes is up, use the turkey triangle we made earlier and place it on the breast, lower the temp. to 350° and set your probe thermometer alarm to 161°.  14-16 lb turkey should need 2 - 2.5 hours roasting time.  

Once your turkey reaches that magic number, remove it from the oven and let it rest for 15 minutes.  Cover the turkey loosely with foil, a large stainless steel bowl or a grill cover before carving.

Kick Ass Recipes . . . the saga continues

Ok, so, the holidays are approaching which means, above all else, s-t-r-e-s-s.  Hows about we kick back and relax the old fashioned way . . . LIQUOR!!!

When Life Gives You 15 Lemons Make Limoncello

(this doesn't really apply to this holiday season as it takes nearly 3 months to complete)

• 15 lemons
• 2 750ml bottles vodka
• 5 cups water
• 4 1/2 cups sugar

Wash your lemons (in hot water).  Using a vegetable peeler (or an adequate substitute) remove the peel.  Then, remove the pith from the peel (pith - icky white stuff that sticks to the peel).  Place the pithless peels into a 4 quart jar (mason, bell, the kind you can seal).  Add 1 bottle of vodka and stir.  Cover it and place it in a dark cabinet or closet at room temperature.  It's a good idea to write the date on the jar because . . . .

40 days later - in a sauce pan on high heat, stir your sugar and water together.  Once it comes to a boil, set your timer for five minutes.  Remove from heat and let the mix cool in the pan (should take 10-15 minutes).  Now, add that syrup along with the second bottle of vodka to your jar of lemon vodka.  Stir it well!  Replace the cover and write the new date on the bottle.  Return it from whence it came and wait.

ANOTHER 40 days later - remove your limoncello from your hiding spot.  Strain your lovely lemony liquor and toss that lemon peel!  Pour it into some nice, corkable and presentable bottles.  Store them in your pantry, but keep one bottle in the freezer until you're ready to get happy!!

Apple Cinnamon Cream Liqueur

• 14 oz sweetened condensed milk
• 1 cup apple schnapps
• 4 eggs
• 1 cup unwhipped whipping cream
• 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

Mix it all up very well.  Place this wonderful smelling treat in an airtight container and toss it in the fridge.  Serve it chilled.  If you keep it in an airtight container and refrigerate, it will keep for about a month.

Drambuie

• 2 cups sugar
• 1 cup water
• 2 tsp anise extract
• 1 pint scotch

Combine sugar and water and boil for one minute, then simmer for 30.  Stir it every now and then so it doesn't caramelize on the bottom of your pan (eeeew!).  Cool.  Pour this syrup into a quart sized bottle.  Add extract and scotch.  Shake and cover, or cover and shake depending on how much of a mess you feel like cleaning.  Age your drambuie in a dark spot for 1 - 2 weeks.

In Recognition of the Approaching Holidays . . . kick ass recipes for my kick ass readers

While Viviane expresses her opinion of one of my many holiday cook books, I will share some of my favorite fall and holiday recipes.

Honey Cream Crescents

• 4 oz. softened cream cheese
  
• 3 tbsp honey - divided
  
• 1/4 cup sliced almonds
  
• 1 pkg crescent rolls
  
• ground cinnamon (optional)
  

Preheat your oven to 375.  Mix the cream cheese and 2 tbsp. of the honey, and stir in the almonds, being careful not to crush those suckers.  Open the crescent rolls (or if you are afraid of those vacuum sealed tubes, like myself, get someone else to open it for you) and unroll, use the perforated marks to separate them into 8 separate triangles.  Using a tablespoon, plop one tablespoon of your cream cheese/honey/almond mixture onto the widest part of the crescent roll.  The fold in the sides and roll it up to the point of the triangle.  Make sure all sides are sealed or else your mixture will spill out and turn to foul smelling gook.  Now place them all on an ungreased cookie sheet.  And sprinkle with cinnamon (again, optional).  Bake those little suckers for 12-14 minutes or until they are golden brown because your oven probably rocks more than mine does.  As soon as they are out of the oven, drizzle the rest of the honey on the rolls, and serve 'em warm!! 

French Onion Soup

Use a dutch oven if you have one, I don't have one, so I don't use one.

• 1/2 lb onions (white recommended) slice em, dice em, however you want
• 1/4 cup butter (repeat, butter!)
• 2 tbsp corn/canola oil
• 3 tbsp flour
• 1 qt chicken broth
• 1 qt beef broth
• 8 slices French bread
• swiss, mozzarella, parmesan or provolone cheese

In a stock pot (or dutch oven) heat butter and oil, and sautee' onions.  When they are transparent and tender, but not brown, turn the heat all the way down and sprinkle the flour.  Stir vigorously until onions are coated and liquid is absorbed.  Add both broths and heat thoroughly.  While soup is heating, slice your bread (if you haven't already) and place a slice in each of your 8 bowls.  Once the soup is done, pour equal amounts into the bowls and cover with whatever cheese you chose (lol).  If your bowls are oven-safe, place them in the oven about four inches from the broiler and heat until the cheese melts.  If your bowls are not oven-safe, throw them suckers in the microwave.  If you have leftover soup, freeze it, or just eat more soup.

Heart Attack in a Blue Dish

aka Bacon and Swiss Dip

(This one gets its lovely name from the dish that my mother always makes it in.  A blue glass baking dish.  You may call it what you want.)

• 8 oz softened cream cheese
• 1/2 cup mayo
• 1 cup grated swiss cheese
• 8 slices cooked and crumbled bacon (or 1 pkg real bacon pieces)
• 1/2 cup crushed Ritz crackers
• 2 tbsp chopped green onions (I have never ever used these!)

Preheat your oven to 350 (or if your oven is already being used, you can do this in a microwave oven). Combine cream cheese, mayonnaise, swiss cheese and (if you so choose) green onions together and then add 6 slices of bacon (if you're using real bacon pieces, 3/4 of the bag).  Mix well and transfer to a glass baking dish (blue if you have one, for posterity).  Sprinkle remaining bacon and crushed crackers on top.  Bake for 15-20 minutes (or microwave until everything is melted and piping hot).  Serve hot with Ritz (or Townhouse, yum!) crackers.

Ok, that's all for now, I'll post some beverages later on tonight, or tomorrow!  If you have any recipes you'd like to share, feel free to leave them in comments, or email me.