Nerds Are Fickle.

That is not a surprising revelation.  Trust me, I am no exception.  We love to nit pick, argue, and correct, all for the sake of that one thing we crave above all else: accuracy.

There are plenty of ways accuracy can be compromised, especially in film adaptations.  Casting (Seth Rogen as the Green Hornet), canon/lore (Han shot first?  Han shot ONLY!), bloat (the unnecessary added plot in 300), audio (Batman's struggle with throat cancer a'la Christian Bale), visual (invisible Bluetooth communication in The Avengers), and Batman and Robin in its entirety.

Pleasing to nerds.

Not pleasing to nerds.

When we are pleased, we elect our Nerd Gods and Goddesses and make them very rich people, indeed.  When we are not pleased, however, reputations can be destroyed.

This tendency to expect strict adherence to canon and lore may seem outlandish and a bit stuck up to some, though I'm not sure why.  I mean, if you took your blonde haired,  blue eyed baby girl to the photographer, paid an arm and a leg for a session of what you expected to be beautiful portraits and instead received blurry images with terrible lighting, the wrong hair color airbrushed on your kid's head and a 3D animated Yoda when you DAMN WELL that he's supposed to be A PUPPET, you'd be angry too.

*ahem*

Sorry, that slipped out.

So, what worries me is this.

Max Brooks.

Yes, Max Brooks.  Son of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft (which that alone would make anyone awesome enough to become their own renewable source of energy and power a small country), multifaceted man, and author of two of my favorite zombie related books, The Zombie Survival Guide (2003) and World War Z (2006).  If you haven't experienced the audio book of World War Z, you must.  Go.  Now!  I'll wait here.

What's wrong with Max?  Most of my nerd brethren already know where I'm going with this, so let's cut to the chase and do away with the small talk.

This is my problem.

Terrible movie.

Now, I will spare you *my* zombies-don't-run-or-scale-walls-pyramid-style rant, I will instead provide you with Max's own words.

"The 'walking' dead tend to move at a slouch or limp . . . . The fastest have been observed to move at a rate of barely 1 step per 1.5 seconds." 

-.-

Yes, I know, Max Brooks had nothing to do with the movie (a'la Stephen King and the criminal treatment of his books).  But that's kinda my point.  And, while I read all about his frustrations with the adaptation and his admittance that the film and book are completely different, I couldn't help but cringe when he actually admitted he liked the film in a USA Today interview.

So, was it a brilliant movie?  Hell no.  But it was a brilliant move for Brooks.  It all works in his favor.  If the movie is awesome the satisfied viewers will run out in droves to buy the book and all the movie related memorabilia.  If the movie is garbage (which it is) the disgruntled viewers will run out in droves to buy the book and all the book related memorabilia.  We live in a zombie hungry society, and I think he capitalized on that.  I'm not saying that he is the embodiment of Yogurt, Max is much better looking.

I understand that the aim to make money at our career, and this is career, but did he have to sell his soul?

We already have one George Lucas, we don't need two.  Although World War Z could use with a good George Lucasing (George Lucasing is when you take something that is done and warp it until it is practically unrecognizable).

Cinematically, the movie is bad, for a detailed list of many of the issues with World War Z, check out "Everything Wrong With World War Z in 6 Minutes or Less"

Proudly Made in the U.S.A.

The other day on target.com, while shopping for a gift for my son's birthday, I decided to take a gander at where the products I was looking at were manufactured.  Much to my chagrin, but not surprise, I found that nearly every product is made somewhere outside of the U.S.A.  After this disappointing shopping experience, I contacted Target.com's website services.  I suggested that they offer an option to sort their search results by country of origin (manufacturer) for their shoppers who find this relevant in their purchasing decisions.

This is the response I received.

We work with suppliers and manufacturers from around the world to create a selection of products as diverse as the guests we serve. This helps us bring you the quality merchandise you want at the low prices you’ve come to expect from your Target^®.

We understand that some guests may not be comfortable purchasing items manufactured in certain countries and we respect these decisions. We’ll make sure to share your comments with our buying team.

Thanks for taking time to share your thoughts about Target.com items. Learning what’s important to you helps us make your Target.com experience even better.

We hope you’ll visit Target.com again soon.

Sincerely,

Sandy

Target.com Guest Services

www.target.com 

Needless to say, I am not satisfied with this.  It seemed . . . cheesy and lame.  So I did a little digging and found that others have done pretty thorough research on Target's purchasing.  I borrowed heavily and full credit goes to the poor S.O.B.s who did all the work!  This is my response to Mr. Or Mrs. Target who thought their response was satisfactory.  

Thank you for your response, although it has caused another question to arise.

You stated that you “work with suppliers and manufacturers from around the world to create a selection of products as diverse as the guests we serve.”

Let’s take a look at the country of manufacture for the majority of your products.

Clothing:  

All shoes were made in China, a big display of Croc’s sandals, also all made in China.

Woman’s Handbags priced from $5.00 to $49.99, all made in China Totes Umbrella, made in China. Hanes white socks were made in USA and El Salvador, same package, same price, you really had to look to see where they were made.  Fruit of the Loom socks, white made in Pakistan.

Men’s casual shorts, Bangladesh and Vietnam.

Levi’s shorts, made in Egypt.

Levi’s straight leg jeans Made in Lesotho.  Where the heck is Lesotho?  It is actually a small land locked country in South Africa.

Levi’s boot jeans, made in Pakistan.

Wrangler’s boot jeans, made in Nicaragua.

Polo Shirts all made in Vietnam.

Pullover shirts and T-shirts all made in Honduras and Haiti.

All the dress shirts in the store were made in Bangladesh.

Electronics:

I could not find a TV, Clock Radio, or Stereo made in the USA.

Electronic Picture Frames, Sony, H-P, Kodak, all models made in China.

Housewares:

Pots and Pans: all except on was made in China.

Lamps: desk, table and floor models all made in China.

Restyle Bookcase was the only piece of furniture that was made in the USA.

Steam Irons: 7 models all from Sunbeam all made in China.

Ironing Boards: 4 to choose from, one for $13.99 and another for $19.99 both made in the USA, one from China for $37.99 and one from India for $54.99.

Fans: Honeywell had 7 different models, all made in China. Holmes Brand, (A.K.A. Sunbeam) 5 different models all made in China, Hunter, 2 models, both made in China.  Vernado, 1 model, designed, engineered, and assembled in the USA.

Vacuum Cleaners:

Bissell Sweeper: Made in China.

Shark brand: Made in China.

Dirt Devil: Made in China.

Eureka brand: Made in China.

Hoover Wind Tunnel: $299.00 made in Mexico.

Oreck: $299.00 Made in the USA.

Dyson: 3 models $399.00, $499.00 and one for $549.00 all made in Malaysia.

Lawn and Garden:

Wooden Rocking Chairs, made in Vietnam.

Gazebos, all made in China.

All Lawn furniture were either made in China or Indonesia.

Webber Grill, proudly made in the USA.

Char-Broil Grills all made in China, gas and charcoal.

Bicycles:

Huge display of 66 different bikes from 4 manufacturers, Schwinn, Magna, Tony Hawk, and Mongoose, every single one was made in China.

Toys:

Barbie Dolls, an American Icon, or so you would think. 18 different Barbie dolls, 6 made in China, 12 made in Indonesia.

Legos brand blocks, made in Denmark, Hungry, Mexico, and Czech Republic.  Fisher Price Brand blocks, made in China. Special Edition Games, in stylish wooden boxes, Monopoly, Clue, Scrabble, Life, and Risk, all made in China. Last but not least, a childhood favorite of mine, Lincoln Logs. I think of all the hours I spent building forts and houses, are now made in China.

Now, let’s take a look at the breakdown of your demographics.

Research shows who shops at Target and Wal-Mart

By Lou Hirsh

Who shops at the nation’s most prominent discount stores? Target

shoppers have a median age of 44, and a median household income of

$54,000. Target officials say 80 percent of their customers attended

college and 50 percent are college graduates. More than half are

employed in professional or other managerial positions.

Eighty percent of Target’s customers are female, and 40 percent have

children at home or in a shopping cart with them in the store.

Some of the countries you purchase from and their residents’ median income.

Indonesia - $7,950 (according to your own demographic reports, Indonesians cannot afford to shop at Target)

Malaysia - $15,000 (again, pulling from your demographic reports, average median income of Target shoppers is double this)

China - $14,000 (this is your biggest supplier and their residents do not fit in your target demographic by about $40,000)

Vietnam - $4,800

Honduras - $4,400

Haiti - $1,600

So, ok, let's look at where your stores are located, shall we?  United States and Canada (coming to Puerto Rico in 2013).  ..."as diverse as the guests we serve"??? Your guests are American and Canadian.  

So, are you seriously going to try to convince me that you are trying to promote diversity?  To whomever sent this reply to me, I ask that you sincerely read this email, look at these numbers, and HONESTLY ask yourself if you believe the answer you supplied to me.  Because I do not.

Ducks are better than vampires.

Stephanie Meyer altered a pedestal by which all teenage boys are now held.  

When I was younger, John Hughes created that pedestal.

Further proof why this generation sucks.  Long live The Duck Man.

Lazy...

I recently started collecting photographs of my more memorable secondhand finds.  Here's a link to the album. Oh so lazy.

Neat Secondhand Finds

Chuck E. Cheese Can Suck My ...

After attending a birthday party at a local Chuck E. Cheese, I decided to send an email to the corporate offices. Being a woman of my word, I am sharing this with the general public. I do want to thank my cousins for providing much entertainment, but let's face it, when you have my cousins you always have a good time regardless. Also a shot out to the hubby who braved the idiocy and took the kids into what I viewed to be a special corner of hell. As promised, here is my email to Chuck E. Cheese, and the world at large.

My cousin held her daughter's 7th birthday yesterday afternoon at the Tinley Park location. My 3 children, husband and myself all attended. Let me walk you through our experience.

The parking lot had no available parking, not one space. We had to park in a parking lot for an adjacent business and walk to your establishment. We then had to STAND OUTSIDE just to get to the doors as there was a line of nearly 50 people waiting to get in. Stand outside with our 2 year old son, 4 year old daughter, and 10 year old daughter. During our wait outside just to get to the doors, I played a counting game. The magic number was 4. 4 was the number of infants in baby carriers or a parents' arms, standing outside, in the January weather.

Once we were lucky enough to enter the establishment your "greeters" did little more than scream at the people standing in line. We waited nearly 15 minutes just to get to the greeter, who was incredibly inept and rude. The hand stamping boy grabbed my 4 year old daughter's arm and snatched her toward him. She said "ow that hurt" to which he said ... absolutely nothing.

Breaking away from the Gestapo-like greeters we were directed to the party area which consisted of 6 or 7 rows of long tables crammed in an area which was much better suited for no more than 4 tables. In the 2:30 to 4:30 time slot this location had 10 birthday parties running consecutively. There was barely room to breathe, or move, let alone enjoy yourself.

I won't touch on the food as, let's face it, it's Chuck E. Cheese every human on the planet who is unfortunate enough to dine there knows the sordid quality of your food. I will say that your business resembles that of the infamous Union Stockyards in Chicago, and on an extreme level, the human herding and industrialization you have created could be compared to a Nazi concentration camp with an engorged stuffed rat running the show.

I ask you not to respond with a coupon for your tokens, your tickets, or any of your fare. I want nothing from you. I simply want to reassure that I am an extraordinarily talented free-lance writer and you are not the only people who will receive this message. I highly recommend you alter your business practices, or perhaps exterminate them altogether. You are an example of capitalism at its very worst and I think a fitting idea would be for you to attend a Saturday afternoon at any of your locations. Or are you smart enough to know to go elsewhere? Good day.

It's A Slow Morning, Let's Play With Google.

Google search..."Wendy is"

Wendy is a New York City- based line of women's and men's clothing and accessories.

Wendy is a given name generally given to females in English-speaking countries.

Wendy is now a Level 4 Zombie fighting machine! (my favorite)

Wendy is prepared.

Wendy is Back via FM9116. (wait, I think this is my favorite)

Wendy is the most outspoken of the 4th grade girls. (wait, I think this is my favorite)

Wendy is wearing a leopard print jersey zip front dress with blouson sleeves.

Wendy is the daughter of Captain hook.   (wait, no, THIS is my favorite)

Wendy is part of the Wendy's legacy.

Wendy is so great that I would strongly recommend her as a therapist to my closest friends and family.

How'd you do that???

Crafty model extraordinaire.

I hear that quite a bit when people come to my house.  I have an...interesting...home to say the least.  My mother has said that my personality threw up all over my walls but I like to see it as more of a light dry heave.  All that aside, with the constant yet subtle pressure of friends and family, I have decided to share some how-to info on the more interesting projects we've done.  Joined, as always, by my crafty companion "Serene Clean Sapience."










Anyway...this is our latest project.

"Shoeprints"

You'll need the following

Paper...
of the bright colored breed.

Paint

paper towels

Tape.

The nitty gritty.

Gather all your supplies and find a nice area on which you can spread out (we used the dining room table with two leaves). Clean the soles of the chosen shoes. While they dry, get your paint in a relatively thin layer on a large plate, mix with a little water to thin out the paint just a bit.

Once the shoes are dry, paint the soles and stamp them on a sheet of your chosen paper. (It's a good idea to test this on a separate sheet of paper before committing.) Choose any pattern you want and simply repeat the stamping process until you are satisfied.

We removed everything from our frames and tossed it in the recycle bin (so relax). Once our paintings were dry we flipped the frame and taped the finished pieces to the frames. Done!

Shoes

Old, unused frames

Here is our finished product, complete with a mischievous boy!

 

I hope you try this, and have fun doing it. It's a great way to "immortalize" baby shoes that cost too much and don't last as long.

By the way, we made four and plan on hanging two high up on the wall and two on the ceiling. =]

<3 DidSheReallySayThat